sevendeadlyfun: (Default)
[personal profile] sevendeadlyfun
Pairing: Xander/Spike

Rating: NC-17 overall

A/N: Whew! I made it! This has been a long strange trip and in the best of ways. Before anyone yells at me, I realize this epilogue doesn't fully wrap up the 'verse. What can I say? I'm pulling a Joss here. I may or may not revisit this series at some point, but I have a few other WiPs to work on now...so I'm calling this done. For now...

All Parts In My Memories




Xander strode behind Buffy, Spike, and Angel, still grumbling. This was stupidest plan he’d ever heard. That fact that it might actually work was mostly irrelevant. It was still stupid.

“This is the dumbest plan I’ve ever heard,” Xander groused under his breath.

“It was your idea,” Willow reminded him gently.

“Yeah and since when did you all start listening to me,” Xander complained. “I’m all unheard guy until we need a stupid plan. Then the ears perk up!”

Tara giggled softly somewhere behind him, and Xander stopped bitching long enough to let the sound wash over him. He’d missed hearing her laugh. Hell, he’d missed this. The whole gang together, going to fight evil. Of course, this hadn’t ever actually happened before. But, he’d still missed it.

He stumbled at that thought, stopping in his tracks. This was it. This was what he was supposed to do. Well, maybe.

But, it felt right. Everyone standing together, no idiotic rivalries or misunderstandings keeping them apart. This was what had been missing before, this unity and sense of purpose.

“’Bout time you figured it out. I was gettin’ worried.” The low voice, unfamiliar and strangely accented, drew his attention.

“I-I figured it out,” Xander repeated. “Really? You know, you could have just told me ahead of time, saved me the rough thinking bits.”

“Nah,” the squat man shook his head. “This needed to happen. You’re the heart, remember? You started go astray, the rest of’em had nothing to guide them. Had to be you, see? You had to learn this yourself, so they could follow.”

“Uh-huh,” Xander said quietly. “Not that I’m doubting you or anything, but who the fuck are you?”

“Whistler,” the other man said genially. “And I’m kinda your ride home.”

“Whistler,” Xander said quietly, mulling that over. “Oh yeah, I remember now. Buffy told us, said you showed up right before her big showdown with Angelus.”

“Yeah,” Whistler agreed. “Glad you fixed that up. It wasn’t supposed to go down like that. Nasty business, Acathla.”

“I remember,” Xander replied distractedly. “Well, thanks for offering me a ride, but I’m busy right now. I gotta catch up. Big battle to fight and all that.
“You already caught up,” Whistler pointed out. “See, you’re right there.”

Xander followed the line of Whistler’s finger. Sure enough, he was still in line behind Buffy, Spike and Angel. His brow furrowed slightly as he watched himself walking away.

“How…”

“Long complicated explanation involving quantum mechanics and the space-time continuum,” Whistler replied quietly. “The simple version is that I pulled you out of this reality. Just slightly. You don’t belong here.”

“I don’t belong here,” Xander said angrily. “Well than where the hell do I belong? I thought this was my place, right? I’m the heart, leading the way, fixing reality and all that cotton candy bullshit.”

“You are and you did,” Whistler told him. “This whole trip was about you making things better and they’re better. Now, it’s time for you to get moving. Got a whole future waiting for you.”

Xander slouched, shoving his hands into his pockets. He had a whole future waiting for him that revolved around a past he’d never remember. How could he live the rest of his life not knowing where he’d been and what he’d done?

“So it’s all fixed up,” he said. “What’s that mean? How can you know that?”

“I don’t know that,” Whistler answered. “The Powers sent me, said to give you an attaboy and deposit you where you belong. So that’s what I’m doin’ ”.

Xander sighed. This was an unwinnable argument. He had the sneaking suspicion that Whistler was only being courteous and indulging the crazy human. If this guy really could send him winging his way home, he probably didn’t need Xander’s permission to do it.

“Just…I need to know,” Xander pleaded. “Do Spike and Angel ever win? Do they get to go to heaven?”

“Yeah,” Whistler told him happily. “The Powers ain’t exactly doing cartwheels, but those guys balance the scale and balance always has a say.”

Xander rocked back on his heels, lightheaded with relief. Spike wasn’t going to spend eternity enduring torture. He’d made a difference.

“All right,” Xander conceded. “I’m ready to go. Any chance I could get some substitute memories? I’m gonna look awfully stupid during those ‘Remember When’ games otherwise.”
“You want to forget?” Whistler sounded puzzled. “Thought memories made the man?”

“They do,” Xander agreed. “But, I’m not the same I was, you know? He…I think he’s dead. I’m some new guy and I think I need those new memories.”

Whistler nodded. He beckoned Xander forward, a tiny smile crossing his features. Xander wasn’t sure that was a good smile, but he stepped up anyways. He could hear the sounds of battle ringing faintly in the background, the clash of metal on bone, the ringing of bullets and steel.

“Enjoy your new life,” Whistler grinned, giving him a hearty shove.

Xander spun around, dizziness swamping him. The ringing of steel on steel echoed in his ears, drowning out the rush and roar of air. He surrendered to the tug and pull, allowing it to carry him along. The ringing never stopped…

He batted a hand out, trying to stop the offending noise. His hand hit something solid, and he jerked upright. Bed, he was in bed and that was the phone…

He reached out, flailing desperately for the receiver. He managed to clasp it in shaky hands and brought it up to his ear.

“Huh,” he croaked, throat gone dry.

“Xander,” Cordy replied. “Get up now. Connor’s been kidnapped.”

Xander shook off sleep, rolling slightly to nudge Spike. Spike growled, burrowing under the blankets. Xander nudged again, this nudge hard enough to qualify as punch.

“Okay,” Xander told her calmly, standing up and reaching for his clothes. “Who’s got him, how long has he been gone, and are Wes and Fred okay?”

“Shurog demons, about 20 minutes, and only if your definition of okay includes complete hysterics,” Cordy summarized. “We think they’re headed your way. I saw them holding him over a seal, looked like the school basement. We’re right behind them, coming up on Sunnydale in ten.”

“Gotcha,” he mumbled, “SPIKE! Get your ass up now! Connor’s in trouble…”

Xander hung up the phone, promising Cordy they’d meet her and the L.A. gang at the high school. Spike had jumped out of bed on hearing the little boy’s name and was already dressed.

“Ready,” Spike told him unnecessarily.

“Gotta call Wills and Tara,” Xander grunted, reaching for his axe. “Might need our witchy duo on this one. Plus, they can get Dawnie working on the research.”

Spike nodded, and tossed Xander the cell phone. Xander was dialing as they hit the door, cursing under his breath. Those Shurogs were in for a huge hurt. Connor was Angel’s godchild and the Powers help anyone who even made that little boy cry.

“Wills,” he said as soon as the phone stopped ringing. “Cordy called, Connor’s been kidnapped. No. Yes. High School. Shurog demons. Can you call Tara and Anya? Oh and wake up Dawnie. I think we might need a bit more info on these bastards. Thanks. Yeah. Meet you there.”

It was times like these he wished Buffy were still alive. Sure, three witches and a vampire kept the Hellmouth reasonably free of ugly, but it wasn’t the same as having a Slayer. Still, he knew that Buffy was watching over them.

“You okay,’ Spike asked him as they broke into a fast jog.

“Fine,” Xander puffed. “Well, not fine. I’m thinking that Wes and Fred have to be out of their minds right now. Their son got stolen by demons and I’m betting they aren’t taking him out to the fair.”

Spike nodded, and Xander concentrated on keeping pace. He didn’t want to hold Spike back and risk Connor’s life. He might be in good shape, but he wasn’t exactly up to vampire speeds.

“Go,” he called to Spike. “I’ll catch up!”

Spike nodded again and took off. Xander kept running, watching his lover go. He had no doubt that Spike would get there in plenty of time to smash the demons to tiny bits. He wished again for Buffy.

“Xander,” a voice screamed and he slowed down to look around.

Cordy was leaning out of a car window and waving her arms frantically. He ran over and hopped in the back seat, being careful not to let his weapon swing around. He didn’t want decapitate anyone, after all.

“Thanks,” he huffed. “Let’s go.”

He sat back, catching his breath, when he felt something brush his arm. He jerked slightly, recoiling from the whatever it was. He looked over and saw…

“Faith?”

“Nice to see you, too,” the brunette Slayer grinned. “Angel figured this place had been Slayer-free long enough. I caught a ride, thinking you might want some extra muscle to help with the big rescue.”

Xander sighed. She wasn’t Buffy, not by a long shot. But he knew she’d been working with Angel for a few years and the word was she pulled for the good guys now. Angel had often worried about her, calling Spike to discuss redemption and souls and other stuff that mostly Xander didn’t pay attention to. But, still, she was the Slayer now and they really could use one.

“Welcome home,” he told her and meant it.

on 2007-08-15 04:59 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] lilithbint.livejournal.com
lovely ending honey.
I like the fact it wasn't the future he had worked to fix but it was a good future anyway.
*hugs*

on 2007-08-15 07:15 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com
Thank you! This totally didn't go the way I meant it too. But, I think it turned out okay despite that...

*smooches*

on 2007-08-15 05:07 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] ladyvirgo1956.livejournal.com
OK that was an awesome story. I just knew he would loose someone and Connor being Wes and Fred's kid and not Angel's that was a twist I wasn't expecting. You do need a Sequel for this though. You left too many unanswered questions. Once again awesome story.

on 2007-08-15 07:22 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com
LoL, let me catch my breath! This was two months of almost constant writing! But, I'm sure I'll come back to this 'verse at some point. I'm glad you enjoyed it, and thank you so much for always commenting! I really appreciate it...

on 2007-08-15 11:12 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] dark-hunterjenn.livejournal.com
Wonderful ending, I have truly enjoyed the ride!

on 2007-08-15 07:22 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com
Thank you!

on 2007-08-15 01:02 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] tykell.livejournal.com
Awwwwww, it all works out huh? Sortof anyway. No resurrected Buffy means no First, so no Potentials or Pokey Eye Outty Guy. Interesting how it all works out. Xan surprised me with taking out some of his memories like that. I guess I'm just nutters, but I LIKE knowing everything. Not to tell people, just to know. Nice last couple chappies. I am surprised by the lack of Spander smut, but the fic just fits this way. Good job!

on 2007-08-15 07:24 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com
We live, we learn, right? And there was smut...there was a whole handjob scene! That was my favorite scene, hehe! But, I'm glad you liked it despite the lack of major smut...

on 2007-08-15 04:42 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] brunettepet.livejournal.com
Excellent ending. Pushing the story forward to an alternate Season 7 works beautifully, and you put us right into the action and sharply delineated the differences from canon. This story was very entertaining and I enjoyed this take on Xander. Whistler was a delightful guide, and knowing that Angel and Spike redeem themselves makes Xander's journey all the more emotionally fulfilling.

Thank you for sharing this.

on 2007-08-15 07:27 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com
Thank you very much! I definitely wanted people to be aware of how things had changed and how Xander, in particular, had changed. This was primarily Xander's story, with the addition of a pairing. I honestly wanted to stick the with Angel and Spike aren't redeemed story line, but I couldn't see a way to both wrap this up and make that believable. So, I caved! Maybe I'll explore that more in another story...

on 2007-08-16 03:39 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] kaydee23.livejournal.com
That was fun. I'm kind of sad that Buffy died, but I'm glad they're still all friends and working together to fight the good fight.

I really enjoyed this unique adventure of yours!

on 2007-08-20 10:31 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

on 2007-09-08 10:43 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] anxiety-junkie.livejournal.com
WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU POST THIS AT BLOODCLAIM??!!

I was trolling through your lj because of that fic rec request and found this fic. It's terrific! Poor Xander bouncing through time, and poor Spike having to live with all those memories. Lovely fic!

on 2007-09-09 03:45 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] tjgoldstein.livejournal.com
Wow.. well done. A very nice story, well crafted and interesting to read... so much so, that I read the entire lot in one go.

I agree with the feedback that one person left, that although he didn't stay in the Universe he fixed, he did get to live in a pretty good one.

Looking forward to your next story, hopefully soon?

Thanks for writing this.

on 2007-09-12 01:44 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com
I've got a few WIP's, all in my memories. I'm always thrilled when someone reads. I'm extra happy when I get feedback. I'm a tramp, LOL.

I'm glad you enjoyed it. This is my second long fic and I'm particularly proud of it, actually... :)

on 2007-09-10 03:05 am (UTC)
ext_41564: (spike - bugger rules)
Posted by [identity profile] shighola.livejournal.com
Wow, that was great!
Not at all what I initially expected, but I was pleasantly surprised. As I think Xander was, too.

on 2007-09-12 01:45 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com
Yeah, I actually didn't intend to write it this way. It was supposed to be much darker. But the plot ran away with me. Sometimes that happens...

Thanks so much for the feedback! It always makes my day :)

on 2007-09-10 04:19 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] fearless5555.livejournal.com
Great ending to a fantastic story. Sad with Buffy being gone but, somehow it seemed right. Having Xander loose his memories worked wonderfully with the 'hellmouth' kidnapping end so that it didn't seem wrong in any way. I really enjoyed this story and although alternative dimensions has been done before, you made it quite unique and fun to read.

on 2007-09-12 01:46 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com
Thank you so much. I appreciate you taking the time to both read and comment. This is probably my favorite piece (of mine) and I'm thrilled that you enjoyed it.

on 2007-09-11 07:24 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] vinniebatman.livejournal.com
Very sad that Buffy died, but it was pretty much fated that she would die, using her gift of death as the ultimate way to save life.
Love the way you tweaked things, though I would have put in more sex.
Though I think there should be more sex in everything.
Very lovely and the Anya/Tara thing was a surprise, but it made some strange sense.
Excellent story.

on 2007-09-12 01:48 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com
LoL...actually, the missing scene for this is over at [livejournal.com profile] feedmykink. Originally this was supposed to be very dark and much more porny. Sadly, the plot got loose and ran all over everything. But, if you'd like to read the (very very) porny scene that inspired this whole fic, it's here (http://community.livejournal.com/feedmykink/59234.html)...

on 2007-09-16 01:59 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] daeomae.livejournal.com
Just sat down to finally read this this afternoon. LOVED it, hon!! The "Quantum Leap" aspect of it was a roller-coaster, and the ending was a thrilling as the big splash at the end of a water ride. It left you feeling refreshed and pleased with the final result. :D Good job!

*Mwah*

on 2007-09-17 05:07 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com
Thank you very much! I enjoyed the challenge and I think it turned out nicely, if not how I originally intended. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

on 2007-09-22 10:51 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] drusillas-rain.livejournal.com
This was such a great story!!!! (I just read it all the way through)

Thank you for a wonderful read ♥

on 2007-09-23 10:13 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com
Thanks! This is, I think, my best work to date. So, I'm pleased you enjoyed it!

on 2007-11-06 03:42 pm (UTC)
ansku: (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] ansku
Lovely :)

on 2007-11-06 03:49 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com
Thank you!

on 2007-12-20 02:19 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] wordsjunkie.livejournal.com
Well, it certainly turned out differently than Xander went through all that for. And if still ahd all those old memories he'd be wallowing in guilt, I reckon. But I think only two died this time, Doyle and Buffy, and as Cordy said, you can't fight fate. Some things are just meant to be. And Whistler did say he had set things right, so I guess that meant that Buffy was supposed to die when she did. Sigh.

But that means that there was no first and Spike didn't burn up, and there was no battle in an Alley.

What happened to Lorne and Gunn and Lindsey? And what happened with W&H?

Questions, questions.

on 2007-12-22 08:20 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com
Sadly, those questions won't be answered. This story is definitely finished. However, I'm glad you enjoyed it!

on 2008-01-08 06:26 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] anjanka7.livejournal.com
Cool. I love how everything shifted itself into place. That Connor still exists, but as Wes and Fred's child - without the angsty supernatural thing, and without the field trip to Quor'toth.
They obviously were in the right place this time around to let sleeping slayers stay dead, even though they miss her.
I think you created a really interesting alternate reality and the trip was a fun one.

on 2008-01-09 05:47 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com
Thank you very much. I'm happy that you liked it!

on 2008-03-15 09:04 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] uncouthbrkit.livejournal.com
Just found your writing and this the first work of yours that I've read, I really enjoyed this story, the way that your mature Xander viewed the actions and reactions of his younger self was interesting and insightful, as was the way that his decisions impacted the core and peripheral Scoobies and their relationships . That he ended up in a different reality from the one that he had fixed made me wonder if he was originally from either or had been imported in as a fixer by the PTB. Just off to read some more of your back catalogue.

on 2008-03-15 09:48 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com
Thank you and yes, I enjoy an older, more bitter Xander. Nothing against young Xander whom I adore as well, but writing for a more mature Xander is infinitely more fun. Glad you enjoyed the story!

on 2008-05-17 06:00 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] devo79.livejournal.com
Just read all of this and I have no idea why the f*ck I haven't read it before. Maybe I had a little reality jump myself.

This is really great :) (the fic not my reality jump)

on 2008-05-19 04:01 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com
Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it. This is my first Spike/Xander long fic and I'm still so happy with how it turned out.

on 2008-08-31 11:10 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] celticphyre.livejournal.com
I am so very very impressed. I read the first chapter and then found myself glued to my chair.

Mind-boggle-ingly good.

o.O

on 2008-09-01 03:15 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com
Thank you! I was thrilled to see your comment in my inbox this morning. This is probably the story of which I'm most proud and having someone glued to their chair is freaking awesome! :)

I'm glad you enjoyed it.

on 2009-11-29 01:30 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] wrtr-aka-wmgrg.livejournal.com
Started reading this on Spander Files, and wept to see it unfinished there. But then I found it here and yay ... happiness abounds.

Wonderful fic, great characterization, and about time Xan received recognition as an important part of the group.

on 2009-12-11 11:23 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com
Thank you! I'm glad you found your way over here. This story didn't turn out the way I meant it to (as you can see from the deleted scene!), but I'm glad you enjoyed it.

on 2010-08-08 04:45 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] dharma-slut.livejournal.com
just wanted to say...

That I just finished reading this over on the Spander files website, and enjoyed it very much. I do like me a complete and coherent plot and a satisfying ending!

on 2010-08-09 03:18 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com
Oh, thank you so much! I really appreciate you taking the time to come over here and comment. It really, really makes my day!

And I'm so glad you enjoyed this. It was so much fun to write - it's probably the best of my mad little collection. Thanks again!

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