Jackboots and Bubblegum

Guys. GUYS. I keep saying whole sentences that surely have never been said before. This is my life.

For instance - this morning? My husband wakes up and asks me what I'm doing out of bed at dark o'clock.

My answer: "Eating oatmeal and reading X-Men porn".


IDEK, Y'ALL. Whose life is really like this? It's almost too awesome. And I'm seriously developing an XMFC UST kink that I worry may devour my fanlife.



The Hypothetical AU Meme: Take any one of the fandoms you know I am familiar with, and give me a type of AU (space opera AU, pirate AU, superhero AU, Ancient Rome, etc). I will then explain what story from your chosen fandom I would write for your chosen type of AU. (NOTE: I am familiar with a hell of a lot more fandoms than I write in, so don't feel like you have to stick with BtVS/AtS).

Prompt, prompt, prompt, and I'll be back to spin hypotheticals!

Despite rumors to the contrary, I haven't actually abandoned sunny Naples for a coldwater flat in London. I've only thought about it.

Plus I have yet to really determine if the coldwater thing is a metaphor or not. And also, why are bathrooms extra in London hotels? I've been making plans for a mini-holiday in London and all the hotels charge extra for a bathroom. I need an explanations.

Still working on Spanky's remix. It's hard. She's so darn awesome I'm intimidated and it's killing my creativity. So I'm working on a D/s Adelle/Topher pegging/masturbation fic to clear my head. And that is a helluva lotta slashes up in there.

In other news, my Handsome Husband is in Afghanistan with NATO for the next six months. He told me he got to say hi to General Petraeus in the hall the other day. I'm suddenly not at all worried about his safety, yanno?

The Monster is OMG sick. He's had an ear infection for the past month, he's on two types of antibiotics plus codeine for the pain. Yeah. We'll be addressing that next week. There may be sarcasm and threats involved.

Oh, and I got into grad school! I'm going for my MSW (Master's of Social Work) at the University of New England. Totally online, even. I luff the internet.

I was a bit nervous about the whole grad school thing. I had to write a personal statement and I was really concerned. I mean - if I didn't get in, it would basically be because they rejected my entire life. My whole life wouldn't have made the cut. How...mortifying. But apparently my life made the grade and I start back to school August 30.

So, the remix is done and posted. Except for maybe a bit of post-beta fiddling I did which was only the inserting a few words to make a sentence flow better and I should know better but I don't and UGH! I can't handle this kind of pressure, okay? Also I can't wait for next year. This one didn't give me enough good angsting time (despite what anxiety_junkie will tell you, I hardly angsted AT ALL. Three emails is barely any angst in my book. So there.)

I'm back to grinding away at all my regular fic. I have the next chapter of Ashes open and I'm scribbling away. And by scribbling away, I mean, of course, that I occasionally will type out a sentence fragment or two, both of which I will rewrite two days from now and then erase in a week after having left the thing up on my desktop that long hoping something will come to me. So probably another month for that, unless I get struck by lightening naked James Marsters inspiration.

The Monster is recovering sort of nicely from his tonsillectomy. Still croaky and sore, but no major issues so far. His mother is not recovering so nicely. I am stuck at home inside while he recovers and IT IS KILLING ME, YA'LL. My perspective is so skewed by less than a week as a shut-in I was seriously contemplating buying a pair of snakeskin platforms. With 5 inch heels. SEND HELP (and some hot River/Doctor/Amy porn).

I'm anxiously awaiting the arrival of my latest few comics issues so I can see what everyone finds so objectionable. It's nice to see some stirrings on the comics side of the fandom (even if they are mostly negative). Now where's all the comics fic hanging out? I can't ever find any, apart from some very tentative Buffy/Satsu. I feel like I'm the only writer doing comics fic (which I know is patently untrue but it sounds appropriately dramatic).

Update me, flisties? Everyone ready for....ya know, that big upcoming thing? SIGH. It's the solitude. It's unhinging me.

A few things before I head off to work:

1.) FIC IS COMING. anxiety_junkie has turned her lovely hands (and even lovelier mind, which when I say it out loud is a bit eww) to my sad little Faith kink thing, so I'll do the final tidying tonight and post it, thus finally getting out of my head and managing not to drop out of kink bingo entirely.

2.) Almost finished with The Tudors. Even though I did skip most of S2...what?? I have a huge embarrassment squick and Anne Boleyn was working herself up to the ULTIMATE public humilation: execution. I couldn't watch. But the upcoming Anne of Cleves bit is almost killing me even more. Plus the inevitable downfall of Cromwell...It's almost too much to handle for me. We'll see.

3.) Speaking of, I just had the most bizarre Tudors crossover idea EVER. Henry the VII and Anne of Green Gables. I got a quick mental flash of Jonathon Creepy-Eyes and Megan Fallowes as a couple and it all snowballed from there. It's a SICKNESS - don't judge.


Off to work now, tralala. At there's cappucino over there.

1. I sign up to do 50 (FIVE ZERO OMG) Angel: AtF ficlets and what happens? I get tons of Torchwood and BtVS plots. Life is cruel. Also kind of hilarious.

2. While I'm not entirely sure I like Naples, I love the oranges here. Oh the oranges! I cannot actually rhapsodize about them enough because they are SO. DAMN. GOOD. Words are actually insufficient to explain how good they are or how much I love them.

3: Contrariwise (and how bizarrely awesome is it that my spellcheck recognizes that as a word but does not recognize the word spellcheck?), I am a little scared of the meat here.

It is delicious and let's be for real about that. Naples is full of little farms, all of them producing the freshest, most delectable produce and meat I've ever had EVER even in $200 a plate restaurants. Heck, I even see little patches of olive and orange trees roped off on roundabouts and we get sheep herders moving their flock across highways. This is the place for farm fresh awesomeness.

BUT...I bought a ginormous chicken to roast and ya'll? It came with the feets. Now this might be normal for my Euro flisties but I? Am American and our animals don't look like animals by the time they get to our supermarkets. So the feet thing threw me off my game. A bit. The rabbits? Whole other bit of sad scary. They had eyes. They were staring at me, all skinned and dead but WITH EYES. I'm a wussy American totally out of touch with the circle of life. THAT'S COOL BY ME. No eyes.

4: So, I'm working on some stuff for the still_grrr prompt this week and I ran across some Walt Whitman in my searchings for inspiration and this - THIS- is how you know I got my kink back. Because because because? I read "I sing the body electric", one of my favoritest Whitman poems ever, and I got inspired to do Spike/Drusilla turn-of-the century electrostim porn. YES. WHEN I SAY I WILL BRING IT BACK, BABY IT WILL BE BROUGHTEN.

4.25: This is A Minor List. We don't have the funding for Five Things. Only Four plus a shirty addendum noting that is only halfway through January and our post's accident board shows 45 car accidents. I AM NEVER GETTING OUT OF HERE ALIVE. SEND HELP. OR OWEN/IANTO HATESEX FIC SET DURING JACK'S ABSENCE.

BEST ITALY DAY (so far)! Finally drove off of post by myself. Managed to make my way down to Gricignano (2 mins away) and back without: hitting anyone/anything, being hit, causing traffic disturbance and/or offending everyone within a ten-mile radius. I consider that both productive and awesome.

Srsly, tho. I was hella nervous because local traffic is...bracing. Requiring of one's full attention and steady nerves, neither of which I am known for. BUT, I DID IT. OH YES. And got a cappa- cappu- coffee at the local cafe. Well, the local cafe that I really really like because it looks so much like an idealized coffee shop from a Judy Garland movie. Bought some good bread (pane: pahn-neigh) and mozzarella and olives (verde) and hot chocolate mix (cioccolata calda).

Stopped by the personal property office and arranged for our last shipment of household goods to be delivered. Note: this may turn out to be a bad thing if more stuff ends up being destroyed by the awful American shipping company. Also had an interview with the Victim Advocate's office and I start training in January!! It's only volunteer for now, but the head of the program is being promoted soon and I'm hoping that my volunteering might lead to a paid position. And if not, it's still totes worth it because the experience will help me in grad school. So win/win there.

It's almost morning times back in the eastern parts of what jaded_jamie calls Mericaland (LOVE YOU JAMIE!). So how's your morning going?

Also--I finally got photoshop installed on the laptop and I've got a few posts for still_grrr's Remember November prompt. YAY!

Took the Monster Boy to the Naples Archaeological Museum on Friday. We took the Metro Linea 2 to Piazza Cavour and walked down the block to the Museo. It's actually kind of expensive (10 euro) BUT the bambine get in free, so that's nice (and better than in the U.S. where kids aren't always free). I enjoyed it, particularly the statuary. The variability of Caesar's face bothered me a bit, though, and made me wonder about the identity of a few of those busts. One bust identified as Caesar looked so much like Cicero that I was vocally surprised when I read the label (much, I think, to the dismay of those around me).

Also, I admit I was shocked at how casual the museum is about preservation/security. Lot of artifacts just lying about (in the courtyard. in the rain. in a really polluted city.) and very little to keep you back from them. Which in one respect is nice, because who doesn't like to get face first into a fresco or eye to toe with a gigantic marble statue of Hercules? But in the other, I spent a good deal of time reminding my son to keep his fingers to himself and I think I can't be the only parent whose kid has curious fingers. Not that I'm objecting to keeping an eye on my kid: I'm not and I do. But, it's just odd that so much of this is left out in the open air without any barriers.

In other fun news, we took a day trip to Amalfi today. Gotta admit, I spent much of the drive reading a book with only slight glances out at the water BECAUSE me and heights are not besties. The trip was fun, despite my fingers of death grip on the door handle (which my husband noticed, but only complained about slightly). The weather was sunny but cool. My son did his Rocky Run of Victory, complete with V arms and "I'm the King of the World" announcement, not once but four times on the Cathedral stairs. We had a nice, albeit disturbingly expensive, dinner at a ristorante. I bought some handmade paper. There was gelato and cappuccino and a brisk walk 1/16 the way up the mountain, followed by some very tired hamstrings (mine) and some very tired kid (also mine).

Oh Italy, why must you drive me to madness with your casual attitude towards artifacts and turn signals and yet be so much fun? ILU, BB! NEVER CHANGE. EXCEPT THE OBSESSION WITH PURPLE. THAT IS WAY HIT.

Fun times were had by all. And what are you doing today, people who are either slightly ahead of me timewise or way off in my past? Where is the love? And does it come with lemon-scented soaps, the purchase of which I was deprived of by a busload of lovely (but slightly pushy) japanese tourists?

I have an inordinate fondness for cover songs. The Joker done by Fatboy Slim, The Way You Look Tonight as interpreted by Maroon 5, Mahna Mahna by way of Cake...It's a sickness. Concrete Blonde's version of Everybody Knows came up on my shuffle and I got inspired to Youtube that old Christian Slater favorite Pump Up the Volume. Being a teen-ager in the ninties. Oh God. I'd almost forgotten how bizarre we all were (are?). Still, it got me a free shot of a topless Christian Slater and that's never a bad thing. Gotta admit, I do almost feel pervy considering I'm way older than Pump Up the Volume Christian Slater's movie age.

Having a hard time relating to the angsty OMGTHEWORLDness of PUtV, though. I remember watching it the first time and it was all intense and relatable. Now it's all bad plot and ridiculous overreactions (are there mommies and daddies out there who still get all worked by their teens listening to mildly dirty music and indie stream of consciousness verbal blogs [which is really all Hard Harry's underground station was when you get down to it]? I can't imagine being all OH NOES FREE EXPRESSION THINK OF THE CHILDREN about a goddamn radio station). I think I'm old. I'm not feeling it. Especially not the love scenes. At this point, if I were to have to date again, I would definitely want to see some proof of potency by the first date.

Also watching The Tudors. WHY? I KNOW THE ENDING AND THE ACTING IS DISTURBING. AND BY DISTURBING I MEAN JONATHON RHYS MEYERS IS ENTIRELY TOO GOOD AT PORTRAYING A SLIGHTLY PSYCHOTIC SELF-CENTERED MISOGYNIST KING. HOLD ME anxiety_junkie, HOLD ME. I CAN'T LOOK AWAY FROM THE BREASTS AND CREEPY OVEREMOTING.


Only two more weeks until we're on the move. I cannot stress how much I do not enjoy moving.

1. My brother sent me a text yesterday that read: I just noticed hobbits in LoTR were gay. That's my baby bro...several fandom steps behind the pack.

2. My son, on the other hand, may be leading the fandom pack in a few years. He told me today that when the zombie plague comes (AND IT WILL), he hopes the zombies regenerate into Time Lord Zombies. I told him that would be a bad idea in many respects. But it would make excellent fic.

3. I have a vague Ianto-centric fic floating around in my head. Poor Ianto. He hardly ever gets a story just about him. The dread consequence of being Jack Harkness's snookums (which may end up as the title, YNK).