Random Incoherent Irritation

[sevendeadlyfun]

My last name is not the same as my husband's last name. I'm not a radical feminist, I just like my name. My parents worked hard on it and frankly, marriage didn't make me a brand-new person. It just gave me a whole new range of shopping options.So, I didn't change my name.

My son's last name is not the same as my husband's (who is his father) last name. Why? We like my name better. Also, my husband has the unsexy type of father issues and we don't talk about it much because it makes the scowl lines between his forehead twitch. But whatever...my name is more fun and, like the family I got it from, a guarantee that at any moment someone will say something slightly insane, thus provoking waves of helpless laughter.

So why, when I call to register my son for kindergarten, do I get a letter addressed to the "parents/guardians of Kid (Insert Husband's Last Name)"? No seriously. Telling them his name was (for example) John Smith isn't good enough because that doesn't match my husband's last name and a sign I've obviously been hitting the Froot Loops too hard.

Arbitrarily changing my child's name to match my husband's? One of the few occasions which cause me to hurl imprecations down on an obviously patriarchal culture. I can understand assuming that my husband and my son have the same last name. But after I've TOLD you what his name is...

*dissolves into incoherent irritation, slight degree of frothing involved*

Comments

[clawofcat.livejournal.com]

One - that is whack.

Two - I have my father's last name, but my mom kept her maiden name. This occasionally was some cause for confusion when I was in high school, since my mom was so involved in the PTA and shit. So, to simplify, she went by Her First Name (Insert Husband's Last Name) in the context of school just so they knew I was her kid and an association could be made.

It's not a suggestion for you to compromise on his name or your name (which are the same, so I don't see why there would be any confusion). Just an example that you are not alone and that people, generally, are quite dim and can't seem to shake those steel-laced bars of culture.

[sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com]

It's a very grr thing. My older son and I have different last names and I'm used to that. But my little one has MY last name. How is this possible?

See, now I'm back to GRR...

[hello-spikey.livejournal.com]

dorks.

Reminds me of one time, I got a call from a charity, and I said, "I'm sorry, but I just lost my job and can't give at this time."

Fuckwit immediately said, "Don't you have a husband?"

Ooooo. And what does that have to do with the price of tea in beating your ass? I was the bread-winner, damn it. I never gave that group another dime. fucktards.

Never assume, right?

[sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com]

Exactly! And that whole husband remark is totally tasteless. Even if your husband was a bazillionaire, what the hell does that have to do with you? Not every couple immediately establishes joint checking, yanno?

[snowpuppies]

Uhm...well, that's just...stupid.

*eyebrow*

People make my brain hurt.

[sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com]

Yes. Spike/Xander porn makes it better, though.

*is hopeful*

:P

[snowpuppies]

Hee!

Goober.

Sadly to say, I'm firmly in an angst mood. :P

[laazikaat.livejournal.com]

It's weird, after you filled out forms giving his full name. Just when you think our culture is changing this stupidity happens.

I know of a family where the husband took on the wife's name when he married her.

Just keep insisting on your children's correct names being used, they'll get used to it.

[sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com]

Well, as soon my husband gets out of the military, he'll have my name too. I do have the cooler name. :)