Modes of Silence
Aug. 25th, 2007 11:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sevendeadlyfunPairing: Xander/Spike
Rating: NC-17 overall
A/N: I just realized that I'd posted all this over at![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
bloodclaim but not here. So, if you've already read this over there, no need to re-read (unless you really want to). This is just for those of my friends who aren't community members...
Summary: Buffy's dead. Spike, Xander, and Dawn figure out how to move on. Begins at the very end of S5 and moves through an alternate S6 where Buffy was never resurrected.
He’d seen it, that perfect form arching gracefully in flight. Searching his memory, he tried to find something like that but he couldn’t. In all of history, there was nothing quite so lovely as the moment Goodness Took Flight. That’s what he called it in his mind and he wished he had even a scrap of the artistic talent Angelus owned so he could paint it and show the world.
After, oh after! All that precious strength and beauty turned to so much mangled wreckage. They’d huddled around her body, and he wrapped his arms around the grief-stricken boy next to him, his own tears burning into his wounds. Little Dawn shuffled forward on trembling legs, ripping him away and dragging him off to safety.
He’d screamed and pleaded with her, told her he’d failed and deserved to die. Stubborn girl just dug in, reminding him of his promise to keep her safe. Told him brokenly that he’d have to keep going on for her, that she wasn’t safe yet.
Pulled it together then, and held her close. Rocked her like the small child she still was and agreed with her as she insisted that he live, for her. He’d live, he’d do right by his girl, stay with her till the end of the world. When the others finally came, she’d clung to him. When Willow attempted to remove him, his Bit had kicked and spat. Finally, Harris of all people had put the witch down.
“Dawnie wants him here. So, Dawnie gets him,” Harris had stated flatly. “We’ve lost enough tonight. No more. I’m not the President of his fan club, but I’ll take on the next Slayer to keep Spike safe for Dawn. He stays.”
A month later and still Spike couldn’t understand it. Oh, he understood Harris takin’ up for him well enough. Had nothing to do with him and everything to do with Harris. Loyal to a fault and a softer heart you’d never find. Dawn needed a minder, and she’d chosen him. That was that as far as the boy was concerned. No, what puzzled Spike was where that steel came from.
Losing his friend and his lover in one night, Spike figured the boy would have crumbled. He’d never stood up for himself, let alone anyone else. Seeing him standing there, brown eyes hard and generous mouth firm, Spike wondered if any of them really understood Xander Harris.
Rating: NC-17 overall
A/N: I just realized that I'd posted all this over at
bloodclaim but not here. So, if you've already read this over there, no need to re-read (unless you really want to). This is just for those of my friends who aren't community members...Summary: Buffy's dead. Spike, Xander, and Dawn figure out how to move on. Begins at the very end of S5 and moves through an alternate S6 where Buffy was never resurrected.
He’d seen it, that perfect form arching gracefully in flight. Searching his memory, he tried to find something like that but he couldn’t. In all of history, there was nothing quite so lovely as the moment Goodness Took Flight. That’s what he called it in his mind and he wished he had even a scrap of the artistic talent Angelus owned so he could paint it and show the world.
After, oh after! All that precious strength and beauty turned to so much mangled wreckage. They’d huddled around her body, and he wrapped his arms around the grief-stricken boy next to him, his own tears burning into his wounds. Little Dawn shuffled forward on trembling legs, ripping him away and dragging him off to safety.
He’d screamed and pleaded with her, told her he’d failed and deserved to die. Stubborn girl just dug in, reminding him of his promise to keep her safe. Told him brokenly that he’d have to keep going on for her, that she wasn’t safe yet.
Pulled it together then, and held her close. Rocked her like the small child she still was and agreed with her as she insisted that he live, for her. He’d live, he’d do right by his girl, stay with her till the end of the world. When the others finally came, she’d clung to him. When Willow attempted to remove him, his Bit had kicked and spat. Finally, Harris of all people had put the witch down.
“Dawnie wants him here. So, Dawnie gets him,” Harris had stated flatly. “We’ve lost enough tonight. No more. I’m not the President of his fan club, but I’ll take on the next Slayer to keep Spike safe for Dawn. He stays.”
A month later and still Spike couldn’t understand it. Oh, he understood Harris takin’ up for him well enough. Had nothing to do with him and everything to do with Harris. Loyal to a fault and a softer heart you’d never find. Dawn needed a minder, and she’d chosen him. That was that as far as the boy was concerned. No, what puzzled Spike was where that steel came from.
Losing his friend and his lover in one night, Spike figured the boy would have crumbled. He’d never stood up for himself, let alone anyone else. Seeing him standing there, brown eyes hard and generous mouth firm, Spike wondered if any of them really understood Xander Harris.
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on 2009-01-10 03:17 am (UTC)If he had one scrap of the talent Angelus owned, he would paint it and show it to the world, the moment goodness took flight, perfect and singular in all of history.
Or something like that. I'd also want it to be shorter, or omitted. Go straight to the second paragraph? Your audience is familiar with the whole scene, so you can be very minimal with setting it up. The second chapter is very strong - it has more visceral details - tears burning wounds - and action. "perfect" "beautiful" even "graceful" are adjectives that don't really tell us anything, so don't waste your adjective budget on them.
"President of his fan club" - president shouldn't be capitalized.
Like Xander's dialogue. And it's good that it's the first quoted dialogue in this. Makes it stand out and draws us into the story - the scene with Dawn would take too long if you showed it in detail.
"put the witch down" - phrase worries me because of course I think of, you know "we put the dog down", euphanism for death? Maybe "silenced the witch" or something else?
"A month later and still Spike couldn't understand it" - you leave us not knowing what he can't understand till the end of the paragraph, which I know is your intention, but it didn't feel, I don't know, necessary? How about "A month later Spike still didn't understand Harris."?
"Losing his friend and his lover in one night, Spike figured the boy would have crumbled" - makes sense, but might be clearer "Spike figured the boy would have crumbled, losing his friend and his lover in one night" - this puts the modifying phrase, what was done, closer to the person it was done to? Otherwise there is a slight possibility you mean Spike lost his friend and lover?
The last few sentences are strong, though, and definitely set a tone. Overall, very moody, which I imagine is the purpose of the prologue, setting a tone for the piece.