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Characters: Angel, Wesley, Spike

Rating: R

Summary: Even knowing the fall never really happened, he still looks for Wesley’s ghost. Even after he makes his escape, Angel's never really free.

A/N: A bit of an oblique follow-on from my remix Moving On (The Everything Old is New Again Remix) for my bestest beta [livejournal.com profile] anxiety_junkie who asked for Angel/Wes. I hope this gets at least close and thanks so much for all you've done for me over the years!

Posted for prompt #36-memory on my [livejournal.com profile] 50ficlets table. Feel free to suggest pairings or ideas for the other 49 prompts!



The shower helps. Angel stands motionless under the hot spray, watching the plaster dust and spatters of blood swirl into streaks of pink at his feet before twisting down the drain. He should be luxuriating in his newly regained ability to move, but he can’t.

He’s tired. Also a little concerned about the whole Illyria and Connor mating thing. But mostly just tired.

How many times has he fought this battle now? Him against some unstoppable evil, the lives of his few loved ones at stake, and all he can do is throw them to the demons to forestall an apocalypse for a few goddamned days.

He can hear Spike pacing in the hallway, fingers tapping out a Morse code message of anxiety on his lighter. Angel listens, trying to translate the message. It’s gibberish.

This isn’t the first time he’s tried to dodge an anxious post-battle lecture. It is the first time he’s been successful. The dot dot dash echoes through the hotel hallway, reminding him that he hasn’t escaped yet.

Wes used to do this – trap him somewhere and hammer out his message. Angel closes his eyes, relaxing into the hot water. Even knowing the fall never really happened, he still looks for Wesley’s ghost. Still, perversely, misses the shade of the man he’d come to love and respect.

He pushes forward because he has to, because somebody has to, and he’s the only one with an eternity to keep fighting in. He still has his son, his friends, and Spike. He’s not alone.

The hot water stings as it batters into the tiny cuts on his hands and shoulders. Wesley’s gone. He’s still here. Still fighting.

He thinks Wes would approve.

on 2010-06-14 01:36 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] anxiety-junkie.livejournal.com
Okay, getting verklempt now. Only you could give me lovely Angel/Wes when Wes isn't even there. And that last line is just beautiful.

on 2010-06-14 06:44 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com
Thank you, sweetie! I'm so glad you liked it. While I'm not an Angel/Wes 'shipper, I do agree that they had a special and close relationship. I'm glad I was able to illustrate that for you.

So, any other requests? I have 49 more prompts to get through! :P

on 2010-06-14 11:49 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] anxiety-junkie.livejournal.com
So I snuck a look at your prompt table and I saw one of them was 'poker'. Are you staying with comic canon on this or are you comfortable with an AU scenario?

on 2010-06-15 05:02 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com
The comics is what I signed up for. I'm not sure how AU I can go with this and still be within my prompting guidelines. What did you have in mind?

on 2010-06-15 05:34 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] anxiety-junkie.livejournal.com
I would love to see a comic canon game of kitten poker (starring Spike, of course). I haven't read them, would that work?

on 2010-06-15 06:10 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com
It very well could. I will get to work and see what pops up.

on 2010-06-16 01:27 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] spankspike.livejournal.com
There ought to be a law about making me feel sad with a fic when you didn't even have the common courtesy to include any pron. Seriously... whippings with wet noodles at the very least. Punishment.

*sniffle*

on 2010-06-16 06:46 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com
Man, I haven't written porn since...*goes to check* April. I wrote a quickie between Faith and Buffy's stake (http://sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com/126056.html). Object porn - always a plus. Honestly, I love the idea of Angel and Wes, but I can't ever get all explicit with it. I'm too uppity about characterization, is my problem. If I could return to my cracktastic roots, none of this would matter.

Well, I might could do an accidental voyeur with Ghostie!Wes watching Human!Angel jack off after a hard night in Fallen L.A.

That might work.

Hmm....

*HUGS*

Glad you liked it.

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