Seven Demands An Explanation For This Shit

[sevendeadlyfun]

Okay. That first sex scene in Brokeback Mountain? Requires explaining. If it were a fic, my back button would be crying. How does this work?

"Wow, we are mildly intoxicated and it is a cold night. Let us share body heat in this flimsy tent and as soon as we touch each other become frantic with sexual desire and have anal sex WITH NO LUBE!"

Srsly. I demand an explanation for this. And yes, I really never have watched it before. I know, it's practically fucking heresy for a slash writer to have not seen Brokeback Mountain. I was avoiding the uber-angst but since I'm depressed anyways, why the fuck not, amirite?

Now, however, I am slightly confused and irritated. Come on! If fanfic writers can't get away with it, how the hell can this movie? And no, the hotness of Heath Ledger is not an adequate explanation.

Comments

[prncssflutterby.livejournal.com]

I have no explanation for this but I had to tell you the your reaction to it cracked me up.

I noticed that too though and no one's explained to me, the excuse for not needing the freaking lube. You're right if it was fanfic they wouldn't have gotten away with it.

[lilithbint.livejournal.com]

damn... Heath hotness was going to be my answer.

Actually spit does work as does (and this is icky) fecal matter, it's not pretty but it does work.
Although for a first time it would still hurt like buggery *g*

[ladyvirgo1956.livejournal.com]

Who knows. I agree with you on this. I haven't watched the movie but I would say the same think. How could they get away with it.

[mithril-56.livejournal.com]

I saw the movie, and certainly they give no clues, but I could speculate as to an explanation. Jack clearly knows his interests while Ennis (sp?) doesn't. Maybe that night, knowing Ennis will end up staying in camp, Jack decides to 'prepare' on the off chance he might get lucky. Works for me, at any rate.

[sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com]

Yeah I tend to go for the overly dramatic big arms type reaction. But I'm still peeved. It could have been totally awesome and it ended up being a big WTF moment for me.

*sigh*

Plus I was sort of hoping for more of a porn moment and it just didn't really get there...

[sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com]

I refuse to accept Heath hotness as an explanation because no matter how hot he is, he still needs lube.

But the thing is, I just didn't see any kind of lubing at all. Not even spit. It was like cuddle smack smack hands on cocks and FLIP we're fucking. I just...it doesn't work. Especially not for someone who is a virgin like Ennis intimated he was. I can't see him being so hip to anal that he slides right in, no lube and no issues.

I'm going to be obsessed with this idea for days now.

[sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com]

Honestly? Because it's two hot guys and most people are gonna care that it's not realistic.

[sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com]

I could buy that if it didn't seem so spur of the moment. Ennis was supposed to go back up and plus? The whole one touch and we're on fire with passion? It just doesn't ring true to me.

Oh well. How're you? Haven't seen you lately. Everything okay?

[prncssflutterby.livejournal.com]

I don't mind the 'overly dramatic big arm type reaction' as you put it. I don't blame you for being peeved. It's pretty annoying. I went out and bought the movie because I couldn't find anywhere that had a copy available to rent. I was kinda disappointed in the movie. It could have been better. Sure it was an amazing step forward in the film industry but it could have be better.

I think we allll wanted more of a porn moment...

[mithril-56.livejournal.com]

I'm good. A few things still to fix up, but doing much better overall. Did you see the SNL Tina Fey as Sarah Palin skit? You can find it online easily enough if you haven't. It's really a hoot, but the truly amazing thing is how much TF looks, sounds and acts like SP - unbelievable! How are you doing these days? What's new?

[anxiety-junkie.livejournal.com]

Sweetheart, haven't you heard the phrase, "willing suspension of disbelief"? The writers were not thinking in terms of mechanics, only action and/or romance. And really, the only people who would be focusing on the mechanics are people like, well, us. *g*

And I loved that movie. Bawled my head off at 65,000 feet on the way to England, with my little sister on one side and my husband on the other. I didn't care that they didn't have any lube. It was the passion that got to me, you know? Of course, I saw it when I was still very new to slash, so I might have a different reaction now.

[mulder200.livejournal.com]

See, this is one of the many reasons why I didn't like this movie. Of course, I also felt it was WAY overhyped which is another reason why I waited so long to see it.

[vamptastica.livejournal.com]

my question? how the HELL did he ride a horse the next day? seriously.


and sadly, i noticed that the first time i saw the movie...you know you've been in fandom too long when.........

[sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com]

I did indeed see it and it cracked my shit up. I love the whole "I don't know what that is" line about the Bush doctrine. Funny!

Not much here. Mostly being sick and going to school. I'm feeling very blah and uninspired which is a bad thing with 2 WiPs.

[sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com]

But the passion makes no sense. That's what's getting me. This whole trifecta of virgin partner/no lube/random passionate encounter thing. The suspension of disbelief goes only so far and yeah, it probably is a fandom writer thing but still. The development of the characters up to that point did not in any way show how they could go from supposedly "straight" or at least straight acting men to OMG teh gay with one touch.

I've read fic like that where Spike just looks at Xander and all of a sudden, Xander's bending over and spreading his cheeks for hot vampire cock. I don't like it there, either. If you want to convince me that you're characters are hot for each other, have them oh I don't know actually act like they're hot for each other.

*huff huff huff*

K-I'm better now. Just let me go get the mop and I'll get that puddle of wank out of your way. :)

[anxiety-junkie.livejournal.com]

See, now I'm gonna have to watch it again. Thanks a lot. *g*

[sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I was afraid of the angst but I figured now was as good a time as any. Who knew I'd be sidetracked by lack of realism? Of course, this is the exact same reason no one will watch a historical flick with me. I end up ranting about the lack of realism and everyone misses half the movie while I bitch.

I may take my entertainment a wee bit too seriously...

[sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com]

The horse riding boy topped. I noticed that especially, although the other one should have had the decency to walk funny. And yes, I agree that it must be a fandom thing because I haven't seen oceans of commentary about this issue.

[mithril-56.livejournal.com]

Not much here. Mostly being sick and going to school. I'm feeling very blah and uninspired which is a bad thing with 2 WiPs.

Nothing serious, I hope? I know the feeling though - re uninspired. I have some fixing to do in my latest chapter of Outcast and I just can't seem to get up the enthusiasm to get it done! Don't know why - I'm still enthused about the story, with some fun stuff to come, but right now, like you, I'm just blah. Figured I should just ride it out and let it be for now.

[ladycat713.livejournal.com]

I did see Ennis spit into his hands in that scene to use it for lube and from other behavior patterns it struck me that Jack was no virgin when it came to me so he probably was a little more stretched out than a virgin would be.

The first indication have that Jack is interested in Ennis and that he's aware of his interest in men is when he first sees Ennis. He cleans up while watching Ennis in the mirror . There does seem to be evidence that he trying to pose a bit too.

Plus later Jack's parents don't seem too suprised that it's a man coming to them about thier son after his death. When Jack met his wife it was clear he was trying to pick up a cowboy not a cowgirl. Both men track as bisexual with Jack being WAY more comfortable about it. Though Ennis may be gay but in severe denial.

[rebcake.livejournal.com]

How do idiot youngsters ever figure these things out? Like you, I've been avoiding the uber-angst. Which, yeah, has almost gotten me drummed out of the corps here in SF. Kidding! But I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that Ang Lee didn't want to become known for the "bacon grease" scene (a la the "butter" scene in Last Tango in Paris. So, he just . . . skipped it. Of course, if I'd read the book, even, maybe I'd have a better explanation. *shrugs*

[kindredspirit75.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it was a wtf moment for me, too. I guess Ennis spitting in his hand was supposed to make it more realistic, but if he didn't know about anal sex, how did he know to spit in his hand?

And yes, one grope and they were ready to fuck like bunnies didn't cut it for me.

[tamakin.livejournal.com]

LMAO!! Classic, that is! :P Ive not seen the movie yet either... yeah i know, the abomination! But heeehehehe now i kinda want to just to point and laugh :P Apparently 'raw passion' is the only lube they need *snicker*

[laazikaat.livejournal.com]

I haven't seen the movie either, but I agree with you that lack of realism in movies is a real mood spoiler.

If they're going to go to the trouble and expense of making the damn movie in the first place, how hard can it be to watch out for the details?

It's not an issue in a comedy, but I get really cheesed if it's a drama and they get things wrong.

We better never go to a movie together, no-one would get to see any of the movie for both of us bitching!

[jaded-jamie.livejournal.com]

DAMN IT! I'm not getting notifications for your new entries! I am so sick of LJ and this happening. It only happens to like 5 of my flist and now you too!

I have not been ignoring you, I didnt know you were posting. I have bookmarked your pag now and will check it daily for updates. I will keep up with your LJ now I am aware of this

Sorry about this. :-/

[jaded-jamie.livejournal.com]

I agree COMPLETELY! Actually, and don't hate me slash lovers, but I do didnt get what the love romance deal was with this movie AT ALL!

And he did have sex with lube, just as he bent over Heath spuit on his hand and rubbed it on the guys arse, which hardly would work as lube. And as I watched it having heard how lovely a love story it was I thought "Umm that's just raw lust. Not that I have a problem with raw lust but where is this love story I've heard about?!" And I still found nothing but raw lust through the entire movie and no romance at all!

So when it got to the ending where it was all sad and making out this was the best love story ever told I was utterly confused.

Didnt rate this movie at all and certainly didnt appreciate all the many people who told me it was a love story before I actually watched it.

There I said it.

[sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com]

In rewatching it, I did see the spitting. However consultation with my gay brother (who yes, is not all gay men but still...) and my own anal experiences tell me that a little bit of spit and go does not a happy partner make. I get that they weren't going for uber-realism but it did snap me out of the scene which sort of ruined it for me.

Now I just have to completely rewrite it to allow them many years of happiness and it'll be all good.

[sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com]

I just downloaded the audio book version of the short story and it is slightly graphic. Not OMG fanfic hot graphic but the language is clearly adult. Annie Proulx did not shy away from using her grown-up words and I actually turned it off because while I'm all about listening to two boys whip out their cocks while I cook dinner, I'm less inclined to have my five year old repeating said audio passage to his kindergarten teacher.

[sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com]

Honestly, my biggest issue was that he should have figured out that more than spit would be required and it definitely shouldn't have been such a smooth...uhm...ride. But yeah, the insta-passion is still bewildering to me.

[sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com]

Well, when you've got Jake Gyllenahaal bent over, who needs lube amirite?

[sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com]

For reals. This is the precise reason no one watches historical movies with me. I'll end up going off on some tangent about incorrect armor or the clear fuck-up regarding official Roman honorifics in the late Republic (oh yeah, that's its own rant right there) and no one will get to see the movie. In fact, I'm officially not even allowed to watch historicals until they've been pre-screened by a select group of trusted friends.

My husband flat out refused to let me see 300 on the grounds that he didn't want to hear the six straight months of WTF about the (apparently) zombie war elephants. That's how bad I get!

We should totes see a movie together and drive the world MAAAAAAAD! :P

[sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com]

Does that mean I'm one of your special friends now, J? LJ only hides us from you cuz it loves you. :)

[sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com]

I think it was a lopsided love story, honestly. I think Jack loved Ennis but I think Ennis essentially used Jack to scratch his itch. And it wasn't until Jack died that Ennis realized what he had which is where the tragedy is. But, I could also be projecting so...

And good for you for finally speaking your mind. I don't get this idea in fandom that we're all supposed to feel the *exact* same way about something. This is my frustration with the whole slash/het thing and how many people get up in arms about slash. Luckily, this fandom is fairly laid back these days so I don't see it so much here. But it's rampant in the Torchwood fandom.

Ironically, they hate het and Gwen-bashing is practically a requirement to be one of the fen over there. It's crazy-making because everyone's favorite Galactic Playboy and Time Slut, Jack Harkness, has so much naughty and so many ways to use it...

Okay, I'm drifting here. Sorry!

[ladycat713.livejournal.com]

Maybe it was eased by the fact that they had been drinking.

[jaded-jamie.livejournal.com]

Yeah I agree about Brokeback.

And I found the Torchwood LJ fandom to be as annoying as the Doctor Who LJ fandom, if you don't agree with everyone you get jumped on so I stay the heck away from it to be honest LOL

And I really like Gwen, another reason to stay away from the rabid slashers.... :)

[angelswilliam.livejournal.com]

I had the same objection! Everyone else I've spoken with has looked at me like I had lobsters coming out of my ears when I complained about it. Thank you SO MUCH for showing me I'm not a weirdo.

The reason I'm here: I looked for your Book!Spike artwork at darker_spike and couldn't find the entry. I'm starting my story for it (now that I have a working laptop again so I can relax and write away from my work computer), so I was looking for the post to link to it in the prompt field of my headers with the name of the artwork. But...under the challenge artwork tag and the "unusual base" challenge, it's not there. :-(

Help?

[sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com]

Here's the link, hon! Sorry it took me awhile to get back to you. I've been a bit busy.

http://community.livejournal.com/darker_spike/3207070.html

[angelswilliam.livejournal.com]

's all right. I understand busy quite well, what with the nearly constant backlogs in my hospital's transcription queue. There was a slight niggling in the back of my brain saying so many people had already used it that you didn't want anyone else to, and you were afraid to tell me because you thought I'd throw another snit, but...I kept stomping on that little voice and grinding it into the sand. *blush*

I still haven't figured out this whole screening comments thing, yet. I thought it just meant it hid things from others, but apparently it even hides it from the person you're sending it to? (How stupid!) I want to hide it from everyone but you, but I don't know how. You'd think with a paid account I could do something like that, now....