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Guys. GUYS. I keep saying whole sentences that surely have never been said before. This is my life.

For instance - this morning? My husband wakes up and asks me what I'm doing out of bed at dark o'clock.

My answer: "Eating oatmeal and reading X-Men porn".


IDEK, Y'ALL. Whose life is really like this? It's almost too awesome. And I'm seriously developing an XMFC UST kink that I worry may devour my fanlife.



The Hypothetical AU Meme: Take any one of the fandoms you know I am familiar with, and give me a type of AU (space opera AU, pirate AU, superhero AU, Ancient Rome, etc). I will then explain what story from your chosen fandom I would write for your chosen type of AU. (NOTE: I am familiar with a hell of a lot more fandoms than I write in, so don't feel like you have to stick with BtVS/AtS).

Prompt, prompt, prompt, and I'll be back to spin hypotheticals!

Voice Meme

Jan. 18th, 2011 10:29 pm
sevendeadlyfun: (Default)
Stolen from [livejournal.com profile] missus_grace because it's late and it sounded fun.







Who are you?
Where are you from?

Say the following words: Aunt, Roof, Route, Wash, Oil, Theater, Iron, Salmon, Caramel, Fire, Water, Sure, Data, Ruin, Crayon, Toilet, New Orleans, Pecan, Both, Again, Probably, Spitting Image, Alabama, Lawyer, Coupon, Mayonnaise, Syrup, Pyjamas, Caught, Orange, Coffee, Direction, Naturally, Aluminium and Herbs.


Now answer these questions:

What is it called when you throw toilet paper on a house?
What is the bug that when you touch it, curls into a ball?
What is the bubbly carbonated drink called?
What do you call gym shoes?
What do you say to address a group of people?
What do you call the kind of spider that has an oval-shaped body and extremely long legs?
What do you call your grandparents?
What do you call the wheeled contraption in which you carry groceries at the supermarket?
What do you call it when rain falls while the sun is shining?
What is the thing you change the TV channel with?
sevendeadlyfun: (Default)
Despite rumors to the contrary, I haven't actually abandoned sunny Naples for a coldwater flat in London. I've only thought about it.

Plus I have yet to really determine if the coldwater thing is a metaphor or not. And also, why are bathrooms extra in London hotels? I've been making plans for a mini-holiday in London and all the hotels charge extra for a bathroom. I need an explanations.

Still working on Spanky's remix. It's hard. She's so darn awesome I'm intimidated and it's killing my creativity. So I'm working on a D/s Adelle/Topher pegging/masturbation fic to clear my head. And that is a helluva lotta slashes up in there.

In other news, my Handsome Husband is in Afghanistan with NATO for the next six months. He told me he got to say hi to General Petraeus in the hall the other day. I'm suddenly not at all worried about his safety, yanno?

The Monster is OMG sick. He's had an ear infection for the past month, he's on two types of antibiotics plus codeine for the pain. Yeah. We'll be addressing that next week. There may be sarcasm and threats involved.

Oh, and I got into grad school! I'm going for my MSW (Master's of Social Work) at the University of New England. Totally online, even. I luff the internet.

I was a bit nervous about the whole grad school thing. I had to write a personal statement and I was really concerned. I mean - if I didn't get in, it would basically be because they rejected my entire life. My whole life wouldn't have made the cut. How...mortifying. But apparently my life made the grade and I start back to school August 30.
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I am dizzy and sneezy and several other Disney dwarves of ill-repute and little reputation. Also, I am not going back to work until June. Apparently I need to participate in some form of "retraining" or whatever and that's not scheduled until June 2. I would be aggravated except I was already planning on cutting back my hours to something less like a job and more like a hobby. Also I applied for a paying job, so hopefully I'll get that and it won't be an issue.

It's just part-time but it'll bring in some much needed PAID experience in the "human services" field. And if I get in to grad school, the part-time parts means I'll theoretically have enough time left over to intern somewhere. Not sure where, given that this is Naples and social work internships are not exactly thick on the ground, but somewhere. It's almost touching, isn't it, this pitiful faith I have that stuff will just work out.

Also also, my fingers are refusing to fing. I have re-typed a good half of this post already because I keep hitting the wrong keys. THIS COULD BE THE END, CAMPERS! SEND DELICIOUS TEAS AND ANNE BOLEYN BIOGRAPHIES.

Wait, I already have those. I also have a bizarre desire to write Tudors fic, which I'm hoping will go away if I ignore it for long enough. I had an "Anne's last letter to Elizabeth which she receives from her mother's confessor after her own coronation" idea and "Lady Rochford's ghost on the eve of her execution" fic idea. Plus a few more art ideas.

I may write the Lady Rochford one, if only because it's so damn angsty and exactly right for my idiom. But I refuse to do the Anne letter one because I'm not sure I could do it justice and also it would suck away any remaining will I have to write my damn admissions essay.

I am not currently writing my admissions essay. I have a page done and a fic to write for [livejournal.com profile] anxiety_junkie which I have not forgotten about. Only slightly delayed in order that I might be unable to type coherently.

So, does anyone else have fanfic urges they're ignoring? I cannot be the only one.
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So, the remix is done and posted. Except for maybe a bit of post-beta fiddling I did which was only the inserting a few words to make a sentence flow better and I should know better but I don't and UGH! I can't handle this kind of pressure, okay? Also I can't wait for next year. This one didn't give me enough good angsting time (despite what [livejournal.com profile] anxiety_junkie will tell you, I hardly angsted AT ALL. Three emails is barely any angst in my book. So there.)

I'm back to grinding away at all my regular fic. I have the next chapter of Ashes open and I'm scribbling away. And by scribbling away, I mean, of course, that I occasionally will type out a sentence fragment or two, both of which I will rewrite two days from now and then erase in a week after having left the thing up on my desktop that long hoping something will come to me. So probably another month for that, unless I get struck by lightening naked James Marsters inspiration.

The Monster is recovering sort of nicely from his tonsillectomy. Still croaky and sore, but no major issues so far. His mother is not recovering so nicely. I am stuck at home inside while he recovers and IT IS KILLING ME, YA'LL. My perspective is so skewed by less than a week as a shut-in I was seriously contemplating buying a pair of snakeskin platforms. With 5 inch heels. SEND HELP (and some hot River/Doctor/Amy porn).

I'm anxiously awaiting the arrival of my latest few comics issues so I can see what everyone finds so objectionable. It's nice to see some stirrings on the comics side of the fandom (even if they are mostly negative). Now where's all the comics fic hanging out? I can't ever find any, apart from some very tentative Buffy/Satsu. I feel like I'm the only writer doing comics fic (which I know is patently untrue but it sounds appropriately dramatic).

Update me, flisties? Everyone ready for....ya know, that big upcoming thing? SIGH. It's the solitude. It's unhinging me.
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1. I got my remix assignment. Oy. This could go awesome or crash and burn. Business as usual than!

2. I am super effing busy at work. Somehow the Director has got it into her head that I should be her unpaid personal assistant. This is yay! because it increases my chances of landing an actual paid position there and/or my chances of doing my social work internship there. However, this is BOO! because I am not fucking paid and dealing with her is a job.


3. REMIXOMG --- [livejournal.com profile] anxiety_junkie, hold me!

4. Also, I'm not interested in being an administrative assistant. Yes, I'm good at it. I'm good at most things. Doesn't mean I'm interested in them.

5. My son is cleaning the litter box (Ed.- Oh yeah, we got a cat. We. WE. Ha! THEY got a cat. A cat who, naturally, adores me. NATURALLY.) and he just called in to the house to inform us that he knows why the litter box smells. It's all the big chunks of poo.

I am laughing so hard I'm crying.

ALSO ALSO: REMIX!
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A few things before I head off to work:

1.) FIC IS COMING. [livejournal.com profile] anxiety_junkie has turned her lovely hands (and even lovelier mind, which when I say it out loud is a bit eww) to my sad little Faith kink thing, so I'll do the final tidying tonight and post it, thus finally getting out of my head and managing not to drop out of kink bingo entirely.

2.) Almost finished with The Tudors. Even though I did skip most of S2...what?? I have a huge embarrassment squick and Anne Boleyn was working herself up to the ULTIMATE public humilation: execution. I couldn't watch. But the upcoming Anne of Cleves bit is almost killing me even more. Plus the inevitable downfall of Cromwell...It's almost too much to handle for me. We'll see.

3.) Speaking of, I just had the most bizarre Tudors crossover idea EVER. Henry the VII and Anne of Green Gables. I got a quick mental flash of Jonathon Creepy-Eyes and Megan Fallowes as a couple and it all snowballed from there. It's a SICKNESS - don't judge.


Off to work now, tralala. At there's cappucino over there.
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I swear, I keep meaning to post. It's like a whole writing avoidance disease with me. If only I could get someone else to do all the actual work of typing and posting and possibly living my life for me. That would make all of this so much easier.

I'm half-heartedly tooling around with a Faith masturbation kink fic, and it is very half-hearted. I started it March 13th and I'm only 283 words into it. So much for bringing it back.

Mostly I'm waiting for something awesome to wander into my head. I have a ton of WiPs but none I'm panting to write. So, for now, they stay slightly unfinished. I haven't had a single ficlet idea for the challenge. Well, one vague slightly lame one focused on Spike's thoughts on Connor and Angel set during Issue #29, but I couldn't get more than three sentences into that one before throwing up my hands. It'll come or it won't. In the meantime, I'm doggedly pushing through The Tudors in an effort not to be creeped out by Jonathon Henry Creeperton the Eighth.

I don't even understand why I'm watching it. Except for the train wreck value, it's the worst show I've ever seen (AND I WATCH TORCHWOOD, YA'LL). The history is fucked, the acting is somewhere between soap opera and Sham!Wow bad, and seriously? I'm terrified of the actor who plays the King. He has serial killer eyes. He's probably an adorable kitten cuddler and this may make him the world's greatest actor, but mostly it a giant disturb-a-thon THAT I CAN'T STOP WATCHING OMG.

Also, I got a volunteer position at the local FFSC (Fleet and Family Support Center) where I do such monumentally rewarding and fulfilling things as shred documents and answer phones. It's a start. Plus I'm applying to grad school and I need some killer references (I already have killer grades). So hopefully in about FOUR YEARS I'll be a licensed Social Worker.

Also also, I signed up for this year's Remix Redux. Mostly because I had so much fun panicking last year and I can't bear to give that kind of frantic insanity up. Plus, I think my remix was probably one of the best stories I've ever written ever and I'm hoping to hit that again. Of course, this could all blow up in my face, leading to my tragic internet death. But, no pressure, right [livejournal.com profile] anxiety_junkie?

Questions? Comments? Picspams of sexy Buffyverse folk? Bring it!
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1. I sign up to do 50 (FIVE ZERO OMG) Angel: AtF ficlets and what happens? I get tons of Torchwood and BtVS plots. Life is cruel. Also kind of hilarious.

2. While I'm not entirely sure I like Naples, I love the oranges here. Oh the oranges! I cannot actually rhapsodize about them enough because they are SO. DAMN. GOOD. Words are actually insufficient to explain how good they are or how much I love them.

3: Contrariwise (and how bizarrely awesome is it that my spellcheck recognizes that as a word but does not recognize the word spellcheck?), I am a little scared of the meat here.

It is delicious and let's be for real about that. Naples is full of little farms, all of them producing the freshest, most delectable produce and meat I've ever had EVER even in $200 a plate restaurants. Heck, I even see little patches of olive and orange trees roped off on roundabouts and we get sheep herders moving their flock across highways. This is the place for farm fresh awesomeness.

BUT...I bought a ginormous chicken to roast and ya'll? It came with the feets. Now this might be normal for my Euro flisties but I? Am American and our animals don't look like animals by the time they get to our supermarkets. So the feet thing threw me off my game. A bit. The rabbits? Whole other bit of sad scary. They had eyes. They were staring at me, all skinned and dead but WITH EYES. I'm a wussy American totally out of touch with the circle of life. THAT'S COOL BY ME. No eyes.

4: So, I'm working on some stuff for the [livejournal.com profile] still_grrr prompt this week and I ran across some Walt Whitman in my searchings for inspiration and this - THIS- is how you know I got my kink back. Because because because? I read "I sing the body electric", one of my favoritest Whitman poems ever, and I got inspired to do Spike/Drusilla turn-of-the century electrostim porn. YES. WHEN I SAY I WILL BRING IT BACK, BABY IT WILL BE BROUGHTEN.

4.25: This is A Minor List. We don't have the funding for Five Things. Only Four plus a shirty addendum noting that is only halfway through January and our post's accident board shows 45 car accidents. I AM NEVER GETTING OUT OF HERE ALIVE. SEND HELP. OR OWEN/IANTO HATESEX FIC SET DURING JACK'S ABSENCE.

Before Bed

Nov. 30th, 2009 10:32 pm
sevendeadlyfun: (Default)
Things I Like:

1.) Folk covers of R&B/Rap songs, such as these two vids under here )

2.) Running into my son's teacher at the grocery store and hearing he had a great day.

3.) Talking to my niece on the phone and hearing all about the things that fascinate four year old girls.


I'm off to bed. The Monster has a dentist appointment tomorrow. DOOOOOOOOM, to quoth the [livejournal.com profile] jaded_jamie (it's official Quote Jamie day, in case you're wondering. LOVE YOU JAMIE!). It's also DOOOOOOM (and I like the capslock of doom).

Folk covers of R&B/rap songs, good teacher reports, and my niece. Life can be awesome sometimes.


NOTE: This feeling may change on Thursday when more stuff turns up broken. Also subject to the price of our train tickets to Florence costing more than a week's hotel stay. YES I'M SERIOUS AND OMG I AGREE, IT IS RIDIC.
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BEST ITALY DAY (so far)! Finally drove off of post by myself. Managed to make my way down to Gricignano (2 mins away) and back without: hitting anyone/anything, being hit, causing traffic disturbance and/or offending everyone within a ten-mile radius. I consider that both productive and awesome.

Srsly, tho. I was hella nervous because local traffic is...bracing. Requiring of one's full attention and steady nerves, neither of which I am known for. BUT, I DID IT. OH YES. And got a cappa- cappu- coffee at the local cafe. Well, the local cafe that I really really like because it looks so much like an idealized coffee shop from a Judy Garland movie. Bought some good bread (pane: pahn-neigh) and mozzarella and olives (verde) and hot chocolate mix (cioccolata calda).

Stopped by the personal property office and arranged for our last shipment of household goods to be delivered. Note: this may turn out to be a bad thing if more stuff ends up being destroyed by the awful American shipping company. Also had an interview with the Victim Advocate's office and I start training in January!! It's only volunteer for now, but the head of the program is being promoted soon and I'm hoping that my volunteering might lead to a paid position. And if not, it's still totes worth it because the experience will help me in grad school. So win/win there.

It's almost morning times back in the eastern parts of what [livejournal.com profile] jaded_jamie calls Mericaland (LOVE YOU JAMIE!). So how's your morning going?

Also--I finally got photoshop installed on the laptop and I've got a few posts for [livejournal.com profile] still_grrr's Remember November prompt. YAY!
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1.) It rained yesterday. NO. I mean IT RAINED. It rained so much and so hard that we lost power. For 12 hours. And they canceled school.

Which is, I guess, the Italian equivalent of a snow day? Yeah, me neither.

So my son only has school one day this week. YES PEOPLE, YOU COUNTED THAT RIGHT. ONE DAY OF SCHOOL. Wednesday is Veteran's Day, and Thursday and Friday? Parent/Teacher Conferences. At that point, you have to start thinking "why bother?"


2.) OMG they are finally naked. I took (peeks) 2535 words, but I finally got all three naked and in position. Now I'm waiting for something a little less...clinical to hit my brain so I can get this DP threesome OFF OF MY...erm...chest? HARD DRIVE, I MEAN.


3.) I am addicted to Symphony of Science. Both songs are on heavy iPod rotation. Neil deGrasse Tyson and Carl Sagan as part of a techno song? WIN WIN WIN.
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Took the Monster Boy to the Naples Archaeological Museum on Friday. We took the Metro Linea 2 to Piazza Cavour and walked down the block to the Museo. It's actually kind of expensive (10 euro) BUT the bambine get in free, so that's nice (and better than in the U.S. where kids aren't always free). I enjoyed it, particularly the statuary. The variability of Caesar's face bothered me a bit, though, and made me wonder about the identity of a few of those busts. One bust identified as Caesar looked so much like Cicero that I was vocally surprised when I read the label (much, I think, to the dismay of those around me).

Also, I admit I was shocked at how casual the museum is about preservation/security. Lot of artifacts just lying about (in the courtyard. in the rain. in a really polluted city.) and very little to keep you back from them. Which in one respect is nice, because who doesn't like to get face first into a fresco or eye to toe with a gigantic marble statue of Hercules? But in the other, I spent a good deal of time reminding my son to keep his fingers to himself and I think I can't be the only parent whose kid has curious fingers. Not that I'm objecting to keeping an eye on my kid: I'm not and I do. But, it's just odd that so much of this is left out in the open air without any barriers.

In other fun news, we took a day trip to Amalfi today. Gotta admit, I spent much of the drive reading a book with only slight glances out at the water BECAUSE me and heights are not besties. The trip was fun, despite my fingers of death grip on the door handle (which my husband noticed, but only complained about slightly). The weather was sunny but cool. My son did his Rocky Run of Victory, complete with V arms and "I'm the King of the World" announcement, not once but four times on the Cathedral stairs. We had a nice, albeit disturbingly expensive, dinner at a ristorante. I bought some handmade paper. There was gelato and cappuccino and a brisk walk 1/16 the way up the mountain, followed by some very tired hamstrings (mine) and some very tired kid (also mine).

Oh Italy, why must you drive me to madness with your casual attitude towards artifacts and turn signals and yet be so much fun? ILU, BB! NEVER CHANGE. EXCEPT THE OBSESSION WITH PURPLE. THAT IS WAY HIT.

Fun times were had by all. And what are you doing today, people who are either slightly ahead of me timewise or way off in my past? Where is the love? And does it come with lemon-scented soaps, the purchase of which I was deprived of by a busload of lovely (but slightly pushy) japanese tourists?
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You know what throws me out of an awesomely plotted, well-written, intriguing story? Spike saying "Hells yeah". Oh Buffy fandom, can we not get together on this one issue? Can we not agree that Spike, while a master of slang and an aficionado of vulgarisms, would not say "Hells yeah"? Please? For me?

Also, how does this happen to me? I swear, when [livejournal.com profile] spankspike was here, she used to do this all the time. She'd go to write some quick PWP and turn it into an epic. Ask her to write a big plotty piece and all she could think of was PWP. I think she passed me her porn curse because my quickie DP threesome comics canon fic? 2200 words and they aren't even all naked yet. OMG. How do I do this to myself?

I started writing it (thank you MS Word for your specificity in record keeping) on October 17. Over two weeks and I'm still not to the pr0n. It's hopeless. And I'm blaming Spanky, because she's not here to make fun of me.

Went to Auchan this Monday. Bought the Monster Boy a Ben 10 toy for Yule. He's quite the little fanboy and I can respect that. Auchan, for my non-Euro flisties, is what is known as an "hypermercato" here. Think...Super Wal-Mart. It's got (at least this one) groceries, clothes, toys, housewares, electronics...you get the idea. It was fun. I still haven't found a stand for the bathroom, but I live in hope (and store my supplies on the precarious sink ledge. UGH).

Also, we have plans to go the Museo di Archaelogico in downtown Naples (Piazza Caravour) on Friday, since he's got the day off school. I will, of course, report back on our adventures.

Also also, DRUSILLA. I loved the two-parter of her whereabouts and doings during the fall. Joss is EVIL, but still. LOVE. Plus, she looked strangely beautiful in this comic and I was immensely pleased. It's much better than they've done in some of the other comics. And I think having Juliet be so involved made the characterization (particularly the dialogue) that much better. To conclude: YAY WIN LOVE.

So let's catch up. How are you? Any fics that are misbehaving, trips you're taking, comics canon you love? Talk to me.
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I have an inordinate fondness for cover songs. The Joker done by Fatboy Slim, The Way You Look Tonight as interpreted by Maroon 5, Mahna Mahna by way of Cake...It's a sickness. Concrete Blonde's version of Everybody Knows came up on my shuffle and I got inspired to Youtube that old Christian Slater favorite Pump Up the Volume. Being a teen-ager in the ninties. Oh God. I'd almost forgotten how bizarre we all were (are?). Still, it got me a free shot of a topless Christian Slater and that's never a bad thing. Gotta admit, I do almost feel pervy considering I'm way older than Pump Up the Volume Christian Slater's movie age.

Having a hard time relating to the angsty OMGTHEWORLDness of PUtV, though. I remember watching it the first time and it was all intense and relatable. Now it's all bad plot and ridiculous overreactions (are there mommies and daddies out there who still get all worked by their teens listening to mildly dirty music and indie stream of consciousness verbal blogs [which is really all Hard Harry's underground station was when you get down to it]? I can't imagine being all OH NOES FREE EXPRESSION THINK OF THE CHILDREN about a goddamn radio station). I think I'm old. I'm not feeling it. Especially not the love scenes. At this point, if I were to have to date again, I would definitely want to see some proof of potency by the first date.

Also watching The Tudors. WHY? I KNOW THE ENDING AND THE ACTING IS DISTURBING. AND BY DISTURBING I MEAN JONATHON RHYS MEYERS IS ENTIRELY TOO GOOD AT PORTRAYING A SLIGHTLY PSYCHOTIC SELF-CENTERED MISOGYNIST KING. HOLD ME [livejournal.com profile] anxiety_junkie, HOLD ME. I CAN'T LOOK AWAY FROM THE BREASTS AND CREEPY OVEREMOTING.


Only two more weeks until we're on the move. I cannot stress how much I do not enjoy moving.
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STOP. No, really. Stop. Stop 'shopping photos, stop obsessing over Mrs. O's legs, arms, and adorable children, stop telling outright (and ludicrous) lies about important issues, stop bringing guns to town hall meetings. Oh, and stop paying for Astroturf protesters. If we can't get real people genuinely concerned then we're either doing it wrong or we are just plain wrong. In either case, STOP.

Cut because my flist loves me but not always my ranting )
sevendeadlyfun: (Default)
1. My brother sent me a text yesterday that read: I just noticed hobbits in LoTR were gay. That's my baby bro...several fandom steps behind the pack.

2. My son, on the other hand, may be leading the fandom pack in a few years. He told me today that when the zombie plague comes (AND IT WILL), he hopes the zombies regenerate into Time Lord Zombies. I told him that would be a bad idea in many respects. But it would make excellent fic.

3. I have a vague Ianto-centric fic floating around in my head. Poor Ianto. He hardly ever gets a story just about him. The dread consequence of being Jack Harkness's snookums (which may end up as the title, YNK).

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