sevendeadlyfun: (Default)
Pairing: Spike/Xander

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. After Buffy dies, grief and a kind of madness take Spike and Xander places they aren't sure they can bear to go.

A/N: Written for prompt #7-nature vs. nurture-on my [livejournal.com profile] psych_30 table. This was definitely a hard one to illustrate while still keeping (somewhat) plot relevant. Hopefully I haven't strayed too far on either count. And thanks so much to everyone who has kept reading this story, despite my sadly slow updates.

Previous chapters can be found in reverse order in my tags or start from the beginning.


He’s a monster in man’s clothing... )

Chapter 20
sevendeadlyfun: (Default)
Pairing: Spike/Xander

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. After Buffy dies, grief and a kind of madness take Spike and Xander places they aren't sure they can bear to go.

A/N: Written for prompt #16-fetish-on my [livejournal.com profile] psych_30 table. This doesn't fit the strict medical definition of fetish, being more of a paraphilia. But, it fits the accepted consensus for fetish and close is good enough for kinks and canon balls. Thanks to all of you who haven't given up on this one just yet!

Previous chapters can be found in reverse order in my tags or start from the beginning.



The sounds of pain and distress crackle along his skin, voluptuous and arousing... )

Chapter 19
sevendeadlyfun: (Default)
Pairing: Spike/Xander

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Grief and a kind of madness take Spike and Xander places they aren't sure they can bear to go.

A/N: Written for prompt #25-placebo effect-on my [livejournal.com profile] psych_30 table. While the placebo effect is generally used in regards to medicine (i.e., the good old sugar pill), I've twisted it a bit to include mental sugar pills, something I think Spike takes on a regular basis. Thank you so much to everyone who keeps reading and leaving me such wonderful encouragement. I'm slower than molasses, but I hope it's always worth the wait!

Previous chapters can be found in reverse order in my tags or start from the beginning.

Later, he doesn’t reach for the whiskey. He’s long past needing any panacea, intoxicating or otherwise. )
sevendeadlyfun: (Default)
Pairing: Spike/Xander

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Grief and a kind of madness take Spike and Xander places they aren't sure they want to go....

A/N: Thank you so much to all of you who left comments and even wrote me emails to tell me how much you enjoyed this story! Your support pushed me back into this fic and I appreciate it.

This is written for my [livejournal.com profile] psych_30 prompt #14-fixation. Previous chapters can be found in my memories or emo-chillin' in the tags.

He could still feel that last touch, the sick shameful thrill of it... )

Chapter 17
sevendeadlyfun: (Default)
Pairing: Spike/Xander

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Grief and a kind of madness take Spike and Xander places they aren't sure they want to go....

A/N: Yes, it's back. Took me long enough! This is written for my [livejournal.com profile] psych_30 prompt #28-free association. Previous chapters can be found in my memories or maxin and relaxin in the tags.

I hate myself for wanting you and I hate you for not wanting me. )


Chapter 16
sevendeadlyfun: (Default)
Pairing: Spike/Xander

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Grief and a kind of madness take Spike and Xander places they aren't sure they want to go....

A/N: Written for [livejournal.com profile] psych_30 prompt #24-Skinner Box and [livejournal.com profile] tamingthemuse prompt #99-clamp. The prompt use is interpretive, as a Skinner Box is technically the type of cage designed by B.F. Skinner for use in his experiments on operant conditioning. Since operant conditioning is a type of behavior modification, I've used it in that sense rather than focus on the box itself.

Previous Parts here or in the tags.


'Everyone has a chip', Xander told him softly... )

Chapter 15
sevendeadlyfun: (Default)
Pairing: Spike/Xander

Rating: NC-17 overall

Summary: Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Grief and a kind of madness take Spike and Xander places they aren't sure they want to go....

A/N: Written for prompt # 11-castration anxiety on my [livejournal.com profile] psych_30 table and [livejournal.com profile] tamingthemuse prompt # 93-chimera. For those anxious about the boys' bits, let me say that castration anxiety refers generally to a fear of powerlessness and not any actual castration. Previous chapters in the tags or in my memories.


Xander was asleep. Or unconscious. Spike wasn’t entirely sure which... )

Chapter 14
sevendeadlyfun: (Default)
Pairing: Spike/Xander

Rating: NC-17 overall

Summary: Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Grief and a kind of madness take Spike and Xander places they aren't sure they want to go....

A/N: Written for prompt # 2-Daddy Issues on my [livejournal.com profile] psych_30 table. Many, many thanks and several internets to [livejournal.com profile] noandwhere for her heroic rescue to my pathetic flailings. This chapter was much improved by her attention.

Previous Chapters Here


Spike lifts him up, pulling him forward. Xander follows... )

Chapter 13
sevendeadlyfun: (Default)
Pairing: Spike/Xander

Rating: NC-17 overall

Summary: Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Grief and a kind of madness take Spike and Xander places they aren't sure they want to go....

A/N: Written for prompt # 3-addiction of my [livejournal.com profile] psych_30 table and [livejournal.com profile] tamingthemuse prompt # 81-grovel. Previous chapters can be found in my memories or in my brand-new took me a week to make tags.

Spike smirked, staring down at... ) Chapter 12
sevendeadlyfun: (Default)
Pairing: Spike/Xander

Rating: NC-17 overall

Summary: Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Grief and a kind of madness take Spike and Xander places they aren't sure they want to go....

A/N: Written for [livejournal.com profile] psych_30 prompt # 9-sociopath and [livejournal.com profile] tamingthemuse prompt # 78-emancipation. And if anyone isn't familiar with the term (and I can't imagine why not) a "wifebeater" is a white, ribbed male tank top or muscle shirt. Just so I don't hear squeals of outrage about any perceived defamation of Xander's character...Previous chapters are in my memories

Xander walked casually through the dark streets... )


Chapter 11
sevendeadlyfun: (Default)
Pairing: Spike/Xander

Rating: NC-17 overall

Summary: Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Grief and a kind of madness take Spike and Xander places they aren't sure they want to go....

A/N: Written for my [livejournal.com profile] psych_30 table prompt # 29-obsession and [livejournal.com profile] tamingthemuse prompt # 75-hush...

Previous Chapters


Xander flopped backwards onto the bed... )

Chapter 10
sevendeadlyfun: (Default)
Pairing: Spike/Xander

Rating: NC-17 overall

Summary: Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Grief and a kind of madness take Spike and Xander places they aren't sure they want to go....

A/N: Written for my [livejournal.com profile] psych_30 prompt # 10-approach/avoidance and [livejournal.com profile] tamingthemuse prompt # 72-crawl

Chapter 9
sevendeadlyfun: (Default)
Pairing: Spike/Xander

Rating: NC-17 overall

Summary: Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Grief and a kind of madness take Spike and Xander places they aren't sure they want to go....

A/N: Written for prompt number 4: Ego/Id on my [livejournal.com profile] psych_30  table. Also written for [livejournal.com profile] tamingthemuse  prompt number 70: arcane

Previous Chapters


Xander stared hazily at Spike... ) Chapter 8
sevendeadlyfun: (Default)
Pairing: Spike/Xander

Rating: NC-17 overall

Summary: Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Grief and a kind of madness take Spike and Xander places they aren't sure they want to go....

A/N: Written for prompt number 5: Multiple Personalities on my [livejournal.com profile] psych_30 table. Also written for [livejournal.com profile] tamingthemuse prompt number 68: nurture

Previous Chapters

I'm losing my mind, Xander thought bleakly... )
Chapter 7
sevendeadlyfun: (Default)
Pairing: Spike/Xander

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Grief and a kind of madness take Spike and Xander places they aren't sure they want to go....

A/N: Written for my [livejournal.com profile] psych_30 prompt # 6: inferiority Complex as well as [livejournal.com profile] tamingthemuse prompt #66: hue and cry.

Previous Chapters

Spike stared down at the man lying on his bed... ) Chapter 6
sevendeadlyfun: (Default)
Pairing: Spike/Xander

Rating: NC-17

A/N: Written for my [livejournal.com profile] psych_30 table prompt # 18: instinct and [livejournal.com profile] tamingthemuse prompt # 64: promise

Summary: Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Grief and a kind of madness take Spike and Xander places they aren't sure they want to go....


Spike wouldn't let him fail... ) Chapter 5
sevendeadlyfun: (Default)
Pairing: Spike/Xander

Rating: NC-17 overall

A/N: Written for prompt # 12 on my [livejournal.com profile] psych_30 table:  Collective Unconscious. For a further explanation of the concept, a very good explanation can be found here.


Shadow Self... ) Chapter 4
sevendeadlyfun: (Default)
Pairing: Spike/Xander

Rating: NC-17 overall

A/N: Written for my [livejournal.com profile] psych_30 table, prompt # 23. vicarious. A few lines taken from the BtVS Season 5 episode "The Gift"...

Summary: Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Grief and a kind of madness take Spike and Xander places they aren't sure they want to go....

Previous Parts


Blood is life... )



Chapter 3
sevendeadlyfun: (Default)
Pairing: Xander/Spike

Rating: NC-17 overall

A/N: Written for my [livejournal.com profile] psych_30 table, prompt # 30 denial. This will be a 30 chapter fic, posted as I get inspiration. Takes place in an AU Season 6. Contains several lines from Robert Frost's poem "Nothing gold can stay"

Summary: Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Grief and a kind of madness take Spike and Xander places they aren't sure they want to go....


Nothing gold can stay... )


Chapter 2
sevendeadlyfun: (Default)
Pairing: Xander/Spike

Rating: NC-17 overall

A/N: Written for my [profile] psych_30 table,  prompt # 30 denial. This will be a 30 chapter fic, posted as I get inspiration. Takes place in an AU Season 6. Contains several lines from Robert Frost's poem "Nothing gold can stay"

Summary:  Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Grief and a kind of madness take Spike and Xander places they aren't sure they want to go....


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sevendeadlyfun

August 2011

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