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[personal profile] sevendeadlyfun
Characters: Spike, Angel

Rating: PG-13

Summary: And there it is. All laid out for him in pretty wrappings – the weight of his soul, all Angel-shaped and broody. Spoilers for the comics up to issue #36.

A/N: Posted for prompt #37-missing on my [livejournal.com profile] 50ficlets table. Inspired more by the recent Buffy comic than anything - I like the idea of Spike's soul stuck in a co-dependent relationship.

Feel free to suggest pairings or ideas for the other 47 prompts!



They’re taking the battle to the enemy. Angel doesn’t say it, but Spike isn’t an idiot. He’s been fighting with and against Angel since the night he crawled from his grave into Drusilla’s arms. He knows Angel, knows the tactics and the hubris of this particular Champion.

He dabs wearily at the spatters of blood on his cheek. He can still feel the give of the soul eater’s eyes under his fingers, the gurgle of the blood as it sprayed out from the sockets. It took hours to get the situation under control and the blood is tacky, sticking to his face and all he wants is to finally be clean.

He leans over the sink, staring blankly into the empty mirror. He’s not sorry he can’t see himself. He doesn’t need a reflection to tell him what he already knows.

There’s no spark in his eyes. He’s soulless again – empty.

The loss of his soul isn’t what he remembers. There’s no gnawing core yearning for its missing piece. He feels just like himself, only – lighter.

His body shows it, he fancies. He can feel it in the planes and hollows of his belly, the sharp angles of his shoulder blades. He doesn’t need a reflection to tell him what he already he knows – he’s lost the subtle curves of his virtue.

“How you feeling?”

He stares into the empty mirror, his lips crooking into a smirk he knows Angel can’t see.

“Like a demon,” he answers, his voice sharp. “How’m I supposed to feel?”

“When I don’t have a soul, “Angel replies, “I usually feel like bleeding everyone I used to love dry and then bathing in the dust of their bones.”

“You’re an overdramatic ponce,” Spike says dismissively.

“Yeah,” Angel says slowly. “But I’m the overdramatic ponce that wants to help you get your soul back.”

And there it is. All laid out for him in pretty wrappings – the weight of his soul, all Angel-shaped and broody.

He’s worn his soul on the outside before. Carried it around with him in the shape of a Slayer, tucked it neatly into a charm that looked like a little girl. No matter where he keeps it, it never gets far.

“Yeah,” he says heavily. “Can’t have gotten far, right?”

on 2010-10-09 03:42 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] anxiety-junkie.livejournal.com
“When I don’t have a soul, “Angel replies, “I usually feel like bleeding everyone I used to love dry and then bathing in the dust of their bones.”

“You’re an overdramatic ponce,” Spike says dismissively.


That right there is the perfect microcosm of their relationship. This is just lovely.

on 2010-10-09 09:00 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] jaded-jamie.livejournal.com
I am completely with you on this comment LOL I laughed so loud at that line and it does sum them up completely.

on 2010-10-09 04:08 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com
YAY! I love it when that happens.

on 2010-10-09 04:07 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com
Thank you! If there's anything to love about those two (and there's a lot, honestly) it's that their emotional dynamic is so wrapped up in not having an emotional dynamic. NEUROTIC VAMPIRES AHOY!

I'm on a kick here. IDEK, honestly. Glad you enjoyed this, though!

on 2010-10-09 08:35 am (UTC)
lost_spook: (buffy - spike fun)
Posted by [personal profile] lost_spook
Oh, that's brilliant. I haven't been following the comments - but that's an excellent ficlets, with some really well-expressed concepts in compact lines. And great Spike and Angel characterisation, too.

(Here via [livejournal.com profile] 50ficlets

on 2010-10-09 04:08 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com
Thank you! I'm so glad you liked this.

on 2010-10-09 09:01 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] jaded-jamie.livejournal.com
Characterisations are spot on, the voices are uber too. This is a very enjoyable and amusing read. Kudos chuck :)

on 2010-10-09 04:09 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com
HUGGLES. Now, about me adopting your adorable Millie Prawn and getting some of those cutie smiles for myself... :P

Glad you liked it, hon!

on 2010-11-06 05:22 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] spankspike.livejournal.com
Loved. This. So. Much.

This exchange -

“How you feeling?”

He stares into the empty mirror, his lips crooking into a smirk he knows Angel can’t see.

“Like a demon,” he answers, his voice sharp. “How’m I supposed to feel?”

“When I don’t have a soul, “Angel replies, “I usually feel like bleeding everyone I used to love dry and then bathing in the dust of their bones.”

“You’re an overdramatic ponce,” Spike says dismissively.


... just says EVERYTHING to me about the difference between Angel and Spike. And it is perfection in how it shows how much Spike gets Angel and how much Angel will NEVER get Spike. Hell... I don't even think Angel gets himself most of the time.

He’s worn his soul on the outside before. Carried it around with him in the shape of a Slayer, tucked it neatly into a charm that looked like a little girl. No matter where he keeps it, it never gets far.

“Yeah,” he says heavily. “Can’t have gotten far, right?”


And this just makes me imagine Spike thinking, "Soul? Pfft. Who needs a soul to behave?" Then smirking to himself with a huge quantity of smugness and thinking, "Oh yeah... Angel."

PS - I've also lost the ability to type, spell, put the correct name for the character I'm speaking of, etc... hence the 50,000 edits.
Edited on 2010-11-06 05:24 pm (UTC)

on 2010-11-21 09:51 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com
YAY! I love when you love my comics fic. I'm catching up on my comics and it has the potential for much Spike/Angel goodness - and also much Spike being smug against Angel goodness.

Also - you should come back to me fandom. I am shiftless and unmotivated without you here. The sheep are everywhere and FmK is like a zombie, only it doesn't even eat your brain because it's a lazy as fuck zombie whose only motivation is just to not die and I am barely capable of writing anything.

SAVE US, OH MISTRESS SPANKS! SAVE US FROM OUR PR0N WASTELAND!

*prods the sheep to show a little action up in here*

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